Cross My Heart
by Hope You Will Always Stay
Summary: He had to get out of there, he wasn't wanted or needed by the other nations. For once his little brother wasn't going to make him stick around. However, what happens when years later, a certain albino pops up again? WARNING: Human names used, possible yaoi.


_**Chapter One: Prologue**_

_**DICLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia!**_

_**SHOUTOUTS/NOTES: What am I doing starting another story? I'm crazy, I swear!**_

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_Cross my heart and hope  
When I die I won't die alone  
All I know is I gotta get outta here_

_~Cross My Heart, Forever The Sickest Kids_

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Since the unification of West and East Germany, Gilbert had been living in his brothers basement. In the other nation's eyes, Ludwig was 'oh so kind' for taking his dead beat brother in, but for Gilbert the whole thing felt like a curse. He was supposed to be dead, was he not? Of course, he didn't wish to die, at least he didn't think so. It's just, was the world really so cruel to make him stay around after his nation was gone? To make him hang in between a nation and a human? The answer was yes, because here he was.

Of course, the Bad Touch Trio was still going strong. That is, in drinking. Gilbert resented Francis for everything and honestly Antonio's fawning over Romano was getting a bit annoying. Neither of his friends attempted to fix these wrongs either. Well, Antonio was Antonio and you couldn't fix that, but what about Francis? Ever since he had come back from being under Russia's thumb after that damn wall was torn down, Gilbert hadn't heard so much as an apology.

So that's why, the morning of the World Conference, Gilbert Beilschmidt just wanted to lay in bed. He wasn't wallowing in misery, no, that would be _far _too unawesome. Though it seemed that's what Ludwig thought he was doing because his baby brother had forced him to get up, get dressed, and go to that damned meeting. If Ludwig had known what would happen, he would have just let his brother sleep in.

This conference happened to be held in Germany, so there were no planes, or hotels, or rental cars, or taxis needed for the Beilschmidt brothers to get where the need to go. No, they just needed a subway. The meeting was being held in someplace Gilbert didn't bother to ask, because he had no intention of sticking around long. Maybe he could slip out the back so his baby brother wouldn't notice? He hoped so because, as they approached the large building where the conference would be held, the scar over his heart ached. Ached with memories of when he was the strongest, the best, the _awesomest_. Now he was just Gilbert.

Gilbird chirped sadly on his shoulder, as though sensing his owners mood, and Gilbert couldn't help but ask, "Bruder, vhat is ze meaning of me attending zhis conference again?"

"You are becoming a hermit, bruder." Ludwig shook his head

"I am most certainly not! I go out drinking with both Antonio and Francis!"

"Yet you vill not come out of my basement unless forced!"

Gilbert glared at his feet as the finally made it up the stairs and pushed open the large doors to enter. The brothers finally came to the room and several nations were already there. Gilbert spotted Canada sitting quietly as he stared down at his hands. The albino just hope that damn Russian bastard would sit on poor Mattie again! _Gott_, that had ticked him off! He quickly followed after his brother, ignoring the stares of the other nations, keeping up a smug and egoistical façade. Sitting beside Ludwig, Gilbert rolled his eyes and was half tempted to put his feet on the table just to piss his little brother off.

"What is Gilbert doing here? Is he even a nation anymore, da?"

Red eyes snapped over to glare at that commie bastard Ivan. During the time of the Berlin Wall, Gilbert hadn't been tortured or anything. Technically, that is. He had been lucky if he had gotten one meal a day, so he left Russia's house extremely malnourished, and he did all kinds of dumb chores and was basically Russia's slave. Also, being asked to 'become one with mother Russia' was annoying enough on it's own. The fact that Belarus _accidentally _hit him with one her many knives if he declined just added to the annoyment. It was also pretty damn painful.

Deciding to ignore Ivan, for now at least, Gilbert waited impatiently as all the nations filed in and the meeting started. It was painful to see so many familiar faces, knowing he would never really fit in with them. Knowing he'd never really be one of them. Hell, if this is what Sealand felt like everyday, he might not antagonize the brat the next time he saw him. Maybe. Okay, who the hell was he kidding, he totally would.

He basically twiddled his thumbs as he listened to Ludwig and the other nations drone on and on and _on_. Finally, he snapped when Alfred started bringing up Tony the Alien.

"_Vhen _is the lunch break again?" He asked sharply, red eyes narrowed, "Because this meeting is NOT AWESOME."

England restrained himself from rolling his eyes, "No one _asked _you to be here."

"Yes! Yes someone did! West asked me to be here!" Gilbert smirked triumphantly

"Technically," Austria cut in, "You can't call him west anymore. He is both west _and east _Germany now, since the unification."

"Shut up, princess! No one asked you, did they?" Gilbert jumped up, snarling at the Austrian

Hungary glared at the red eyed man, gripping her frying pan tightly, "Leave Roderich alone! You're not even a nation anymore! So why _are _you here, I'm sure we are all wondering!"

As several nations nodded, the albino looked taken back, "Because _mein bruder_ wanted me here."

Ludwig knew he should have stopped it, he knew he should have taken control of the situation, but he didn't. He guessed he'd always regret that.

"Da, but no one else wants you here!" Russia smiled a creepy, and not friendly at all, smile

"Nein!" Gilbert protested, "That isn't true! I'm awesome, who wouldn't want to have me around! Kesesesesese!"

As he laughed, he looked around at others to support him, to say they wanted him around, but no one spoke. Matthew would always secretly wonder what would have happened if he had found his voice in that moment and said that he enjoyed the Prussians company, but he didn't. Francis and Antonio would always question themselves on why they were so stupid that they didn't show their best friend support, they would too question and come up with all kinds off what if's. However, they didn't. None of the nations did. That was all that mattered.

"You don't have a purpose here. Your not a nation, dude, and this is a World Conference. You're useless to us." America shrugged, not even thinking about the impact his words would have on his former teacher. Later on, he would have wished he had thought before he spoke for once in his life.

"Useless?" Gilbert echoed hollowly as his chest hurt even more as the hole seemed to grow, "I have more experience than most of you combined!"

"Experience we don't need, some of us are just as old as you. Just get out of here and do us all a favor by not coming back-" Elizaveta caught herself, green eyes wide as she comprehended what she just said, "No, I mean-"

Gilbert looked at her with wide red eyes. Gilbird chirped angrily, as if telling the nations off. Gilbert's jaw was clinched and his fingernails dug into the skin of his palm as he spoke with anger taking over, "Fine, whatever. I hope I never see any of you again. I'm sorry I've been such a nuisance, bruder, ich liebe dich. Zhe rest of you can go and rot for all I care!"

With one last glare, so angry it almost pulled the older nations back into the time when Prussia reigned supreme, Gilbert ran. He ran and didn't look back.

* * *

The pain grew in his chest as he gripped it, scrubbing viciously at the tears that spilled onto his cheeks. Crying wasn't awesome. He was awesome, so therefore he shouldn't be crying. He let out a short and bitter laugh. _He _was awesome? It just sounded like a vain attempt at fooling himself. As he stared into the crowd of people walking to and fro, he bet none of them knew what Prussia is. _Was_, he corrected himself, pain shooting his heart. Shaking his head, he knew what he had to do. Gilbert was smart despite what some would say. He could tell when he wasn't wanted and, for once, his little brother wasn't going to make him stick around.

He dashed off as quick as he could to the nearest airport. He brought out all the pocket money he had been hoarding for beer the next time he went out drinking and counted it up. It was quite a large number as Antonio and Francis usually barrowed off of him when they ran out, plus it took quite a bit to get him drunk. He was German, no _Prussian_ and beer could be expensive. However, that is not what this money would be useful.

He had enough money for a one way plane ticket out of there. As he flashed the passport Ludwig had felt the need to get him, he boarded a plane and didn't even care to where it took him. Ignoring the twinge in his heart as he thought of his little brother, he hid Gilbird in his jacket and ran away from everything he had ever known.

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**_Question of the Chapter: What do you guys think should happen next?_**


End file.
